There’s often personal and emotional readjustment to consider too, usually when we are feeling at our lowest ebb.
Let’s reflect on some top tips to help you move on from divorce:
– Self-esteem and confidence frequently suffer as a consequence of divorce, possibly through feeling a failure or concern at letting yourself or others down. Addressing unhelpful, underlying patterns and behaviors can help you move forward, having learned valuable lessons from the divorce experience. Healing in part is about managing unwanted, negative patterns in order to avoid repeating them in the future.
– It is time to become more independent and self-sufficient. Couples often share friends, social interests and decision-making, so moving on alone can feel frightening. Include family and friends, take things at your pace, adopt a sensible outlook, laugh at your mistakes and make the transition easier. Also in relationships there are frequently his and her or mine and yours tasks. You might need time to learn to do things you’ve never done before. Ask for help, give up the frustration and be gentle with yourself. It takes the time required to move on!
– Aim to keep yourself relevant and up-to-date. Keep in touch with the outside world and stay connected. Watch the news and popular TV so that you can join in with discussions. Invest in your look, even if it’s a simple colour change or gentle makeover. Plan a pamper evening, dinner celebration, card evening or have your mates around for the softball soccer. Let others contribute a dish or jar so that it’s an inexpensive evening. Play board games together, all fun, easy ways to keep in touch.
– Home may feel very different post-divorce. It may be time to relocate and focus on establishing a new home for you and yours. Or financial concerns may make selling the marital home prohibitive for the time being. Staying there may be viable in the short-term; it allows time to repay, heal and plan ahead. If so, figure out ways to reorganise your dwelling. Rugs, prints and little touches can make a real difference. Let the children help so that they feel involved and invested too.
– Possessions can be a difficult call. Often getting rid of things can be both symbolic and cathartic. Sometimes letting something go that meant a lot may be the right thing to do. Do you really need to be reminded of your connection each time you enter a room?
– Sleeping alone might feel odd initially, but it’s true that people do slowly get accustomed to occupying an entire double bed. Change your mindset about your bedroom – it’s your place today. Turn it into a haven and make it the way you want it to be. Place lavender on your pillow, take a relaxing bath and get comfy in your space.
– Work often becomes more important after divorce. It may be essential to make money, so you really need to settle down to working at your job or career. Or could be time for you to begin again and achieve something you’ve always wanted to do, something special for yourself? Re-write your CV, investigate career options or re-training. Think about the best way to make that fresh start and look at a new career, or starting a business of your own. This could be your catalyst for change!
As you find your feet appreciate the opportunity for a new start and find positive ways to proceed from your divorce.