I know this firsthand. I’ve fought against a low self-esteem my entire life. My mother remarried my adopted father who loved me and I adored him. We still do. But he suffered from self-esteem issues too, and he took it out on my Mom, my sister and me. We were all called”dumb”,”dump””idiots” for the majority of my adolescent years. As a kid, I suffered many days on the playground by being called,”fat Matt”. Odds are you’ve had similar unfortunate experiences.
However, you MUST overcome these cut downs and develop a positive self-esteem and self-image or achievement will always elude you. It’s the confidence we rely upon to keep on keepin’ on. Unfortunately, many people never really master building or rebuilding their self-esteem. Here are some tips I have used which can let you get yours built back up.
1. It’s not a curse… it’s a blessing. Use the negative experiences you’ve faced as fuel to reconstruct your self-esteem. Deep down, these negative experiences can drive you to success if you use them properly. Drop the blame, and don’t forget the times when you were beat down as strong. Prove your doubters wrong, don’t allow them to be proven right.
2. Seek Mastery of something. When you are a master of something, it produces confidence. The key is to learn something, anything. Learn How to play Billy Joel songs on the piano. Get in tip top shape via working out. Become a top notch cold caller in your sales career. Anything that demonstrates that you took the time to focus on it, skill up, and therefore master it.
3. Repetition is the mother of all skill and the more reps you can take the more you bury the fear and move closer to mastery the better. You will need to take a great deal of swings . If you’re terrified of talking, do more talking. If you can’t make a cold call, do more cold calls. Think of this like my buddy Grant Cardone indicates in his book THE 10X RULE. Do everything with a factor of 10X to it.
4. Leverage your command . Place yourself in locations and scenarios for your mastery to glow. If you’ve mastered hitting a golf ball 400 decades, then sign up for the business or industry golf tournament. You know that when you arrive on the first tee box, you may hit the ball farther than anyone, and others will be amazed. Thus, your mastery will place you in a class to yourself, and people will want to be around you and invite you to be on their team. When you begin a new job on the sales floor, be the person who can bang out 100 cold calls without blinking an eye. This will separate you on day one from the competition, and you will be looked at as a master. Sit at the piano when you are having drinks with customers and start playing Piano Man. Your clients will be impressed, and your self-esteem issue will go out the window. Invite your new date to the gym with you and let them see how many pull ups you can do and they also will be impressed. Your mastery must be used as constant fuel for you to continue to construct or rebuild your self-esteem. Getting great at something gives you the confidence to get great at anything else.
5. Help somebody else. It’s sad that all these men and women that are in a position to help if it’s a mentor, a co-worker or even a parent, do not take more time to recognize self-esteem problems in others. Be that person, be the person that helps.
The topic of self-esteem is vital to your success. For some, the construction or rebuilding process can be done quickly. For others, like me, it takes quite a long time. But in any event, nothing is worth the effort.