If someone were to look at how you treat yourself, what might they say about you? It’s said, we will never talk to anyone more than we speak to ourselves and this is why we have to be kind to ourselves. Knowing that, what’s the relationship you have with yourself? You see, every interaction we have with others begins inside our heads and echoes throughout our outside world. If we are not happy with our relationships, we ought to examine our thoughts to see how we treat ourselves.
For instance, are you aware of the mental chatter that occurs within your mind? What is the subject of your dominant thoughts? Whilst I don’t mean to focus on whether you entertain negative thoughts or not, it’s important to know the nature of our thoughts. Thinking is something we are habituated to from a young age. We may not notice our thoughts are negative until it shows up in our reality.
To give you an example, when I go shopping at the local supermarket, there’s a mature aged checkout operator who often invites individuals with eight items or less to come through her register. What’s interesting about her interactions, is that during the space of a few minutes she will have told them how her entire body is in pain and she relies on medication to function. Now, if she works an eight-hour change, she will have recited this story to at least fifty to one hundred people in 1 day. What we think about ourselves is what we communicate to others. On a certain level, she doesn’t believe her body is healthy and talks about her ill-health as a method of reaffirming her ideas and beliefs.
As the Hermetic aphorism states: “As within, so without.” What we hold in mind has a ripple effect in our life and the lives of others. The checkout operator’s ideas are a declaration to her subconscious mind, however negative they could be. Perhaps this occurs in your life without your conscious awareness? Not so much your health maybe your finances, relationships or career. It’s easy to miss if we’re not careful to it.
We Must Become Our Own Therapist
“The brain only believes what you tell it . And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice.”
Life can be difficult and that is the reason few folks make the time for self-enquiry to journal their thoughts on paper. This can be an important step because it gives us a portrait into what is brewing under the surface of our minds. This simple practice, whether done in the daytime or day, can help us to understand ourselves better. As a result, we are able to weed out ideas not conducive to our general wellbeing. Is this something you’re willing to spend time and energy towards? I can guarantee you the time you invest in yourself will return to you tenfold. I enjoy the message by author and motivational psychologist Dr. Shad Helmstetter who explains in What To Say When You Talk To Your Self how our self-talk can help us prevail over negative programming by substituting it with self-empowering thoughts:”Self-Talk is a way to override our past negative programming by erasing or replacing it by conscious, positive new directions. Self-Talk is a practical way to live our lives by busy intent rather than by passive acceptance.”
There is nothing more important than nurturing the relationship we have with ourselves. Even though you might have experienced a challenging past, does this make sense how the way you speak to yourself dictates whether you stay a victim to your troubles or better understand yourself? Lots of men and women say they had a difficult childhood, bombarded with psychological and physical abuse. Whilst this can be a difficult period, what was missing from our lives during our formative years should be given our attention as adults. If love, appreciation, compassion and kindness was lost when we were young, it is more important we cultivate these qualities as adults.
Pulling Weeds is Not a Part-Time Job
The dialogue we have with ourselves can be rewritten if we’re willing to weed out harmful thoughts. It requires commitment because caring for our internal landscape is an act of self-love. Attending to our thoughts is like pulling out weeds from a garden so it can flourish. If the weeds are left to grow they will overtake the luscious greenery. The key message here is: Be mindful! Watch your thoughts by being attentive to them more often. Let go of ideas not conducive to the person you would like to be and harvest those indicative of the individual you plan to be and plant some new thought seeds. At the end of the day, the way you talk to yourself not only echoes through your connection with yourself but the connection you have with others. “As within, so without” is more than a pithy saying–it’s sage wisdom, yes? Now THAT is worth talking about!