I Refuse to Consider Myself a Verbal Abuse Victim

The idea of a "verbal abuse victim" may carry negative connotations. A person who experiences verbal abuse may come across as a helpless victim or as someone exaggerating their situation to receive attention. Unfortunately, how others view verbal abuse victims can change how people react. Rather than getting the support and help a person needs because of verbal abuse, an individual's needs may be ignored or minimized.

Verbal Abuse Victim Mentality

Of course, anyone who suffers from verbal abuse can be considered a victim. Verbal abuse can bring forth a host of unwanted problems, like I experienced, such as low self-esteem, depression, and trust issues. These adverse side effects may play a part in keeping the person in a verbal abuse victim mentality.

However, the cycle of abuse is common within many relationships, creating victims and continuing this unhealthy mentality. 

There was a time in my life when I believed I was only destined to have bad things happen to me. Being a verbal abuse victim for years conditioned me to focus only on the negative aspects of my life. This mentality kept me from seeing the positive elements and had me playing the victim, even when I was no longer in a verbally abusive relationship. It kept me from healing and moving away from the effects verbal abuse had on me. 

Breaking Free from Victim Mentality After Verbal Abuse

It is possible to break free from the victim mentality, even after suffering verbal abuse. I went through years of professional therapy to help me find better tools and coping strategies when managing life's challenges. This change did not happen overnight and took a lot of work and self-assessment on my part. 

I had to recognize how my negative thoughts were affecting my mental health and weren't helping me heal from verbal abuse. Although I was a victim of verbal abuse for many years, I refuse to use the word victim. I always thought of victims as being helpless, weak, and easy prey for abusers. I didn't want to be put in the victim box where someone may think about me that way. 

Although others may use that terminology, I prefer to use words like target or recipient. These alternatives help me avoid falling back into the victim mentality. 

A large part of my healing journey included taking responsibility for how I felt and reacted to situations. Once I could see the effects, I gave myself the grace I needed to focus on more positive things. I learned that the coping strategies I used when suffering verbal abuse were no longer relevant in my life, so a change was necessary. 

Even if you were a verbal abuse victim in one instance or for years, you can change the narrative. You don't have to be a verbal abuse victim any longer. There are many resources available to help you move forward and heal from an abusive relationship in a healthy way.