Verbal Abuse Can Create Triggers that Affect Your Life Later

Unfortunately, many people who have been in a verbally abusive relationship will continue to have verbal abuse triggers later in their lives. Sometimes, these situations create stress and bring back the same feelings of vulnerability for the individual who experienced the verbal abuse. Even if the present relationship is not abusive, it can be hard to adapt and move on from verbal abuse when triggers happen. 

I know first-hand how damaging it can be when I let verbal abuse triggers affect my current relationships. There were times when my current partner had to remind me that he was not an abuser and did not and would not treat me the same as my past abuser did. Sometimes, I misread my spouse's intentions by letting my brain regress and tell me these verbal abuse triggers would damage my current relationship. It's a difficult road to heal from verbal abuse, but one that is necessary for my mental health and the success of my relationships with others. 

Triggers from Past Verbal Abuse that Affect My Life Today

Because everyone's verbal abuse journey is unique, some triggers may affect individuals while others may not. It's important to know which ones you're sensitive to and learn how to manage your reactions when they happen. It took me years to understand and accept verbal abuse triggers and how they are affecting my life today. 

Some noticeable past triggers that I navigate even in my life today include: 

• Raised or angry voices
• Being dismissed by someone
• Lack of communication
• Rude or insulting comments towards me
• Movies or television shows that depict abusive situations

Of course, not all of these situations will have me regressing back to a time when I was in a verbally abusive relationship. However, I must be aware of how they can affect me now so I won't react improperly when they happen. Naturally, I do make mistakes and may sometimes overreact to situations that aren't verbally abusive. I'm still healing and try to use those instances to remind myself how to handle daily verbal abuse triggers correctly. 

Ways I help manage my triggers from my verbally abusive past include: 

• Asking individuals to lower their voices during a heated conversation
• Expressing my thoughts and views to someone who is being dismissive of me
• Insisting on open, healthy communication to avoid any misunderstandings
• Letting individuals know their comments are not helpful or a healthy way to communicate
• Avoiding watching movies or television shows that focus on abusive relationships

Thankfully, I work with some terrific professional therapists who help guide me on my healing journey. I'm getting better at identifying verbal abuse triggers that affect my life now and how to handle them. I may always have to watch out for these situations, but each day, I improve my chances of not letting them interfere with my current relationships.